Eddie_Estrada's Xanga

RIP Wayne "Frosty Freeze" Frost

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 14:20:48 GMT

The pain is gone now. Start a B-Boy crew in Heaven and I'll join when I get there.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 11:59:01 GMT

HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS!?!?!?!?!!!!!!

Cowboys 5-0. Looks a lot like my Fantasy Football record don't it, Jen?

hahaha...

Dinner Vs Junkfood

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 15:07:51 GMT

I've been going through a change recently. My ability to let out what I usually internalize has grown quite a bit. I've never felt more alive when saying, "I love you" to Jes, I've never longed for anything the way I long for the child we are expecting, and yet...those feelings compare not to the amazing Love that only God can give. That Love, is what we long for, but instead fill the void by stuffing our hearts with this earthly idea of love. So much so, that it is difficult to look to our Father above to say, "Yes Father, Love me the way only you can!". Even if we do beg for his love day in and day out, there is no way that any of us can ever fathom God's pure, and true love. Sure, we've had our miracles. We've had God show us how wonderful he is. But those miracles aren't just signs of love, they're signs of grace, of mercy....

Hear me out. I remember being a little kid and being called to the dinner table. My grandma would serve me the nicest dish of mash'taters and chicken, with mac and cheese....my favorites...but I wouldn't dip in to it. Puzzled Memo would ask, "Porque no comes?" (why don't you eat?). I was stuffed to my neck in potato chips and junk food. Of course I would get punished, and sent to my room until I was ready to eat real food.....but in a sense...that is what we do to God. God can only Love us purely, because God is Love...yet, we come to God's table full of earthly love, that JunkLove, that potato chip Love, cause after all, "you can't have just one". How quickly, when junk love fills us to our foreheads, do we ignore the solidity of God's true love. Then, once that earthly love disappears, or diminishes, we shake our fists at God, because he is "cursing us". "No me quites las papitas Memo! No seas Mala!" (Don't take away my chips Memo, don't be mean!?").

Little would we know as kids, that, the chips are taken away, so that A) You get hungry, and B) you are fed properly. I don't want to sound like I know too much of what I'm talking about, but this is just an observance of mine....When I sat in a doctor's office, with my wonderful wife, and listened to a highly reputable orthopedic doctor tell me , "no, you will NEVER run the way you did, ever....not even close", I felt nothing but anger towards a God I sang ballads to. I felt nothing but a huge let down. This was God's chance to show me a miracle. To show me some Grace. To Love me purely. When I think of it from the "Eddie today" perspective, I realize that...Love has been a distorted picture my entire life. Through the seperation of my parents at the age of 2, down to the loss of many of my friends because of the love of money....I only knew one way to ignore what I thought Love was....and honestly, I know, that mentally, emotionally, even spiritually, I am not as prepared as I would hope (but will continue to pray about this) to be, for me to recognize God's Pure Love. If my knees were 100% right now, I gurantee, I would be playing a lot of soccer. With John Hasler (added for props). I'm not the idiot that would trade his wife and future kids for playing a game...no...as much as I would hate to admit it though, I would probably trade sunday nights for it...and this is real talk...this is how brainwashed I am on this earthly Idea of love. I am programmed to run away from the idea of a love that somehow will end, or hurt. And I'll hurt my knees playing soccer quicker than I will praying for God's Love.

But while I cursed God, while I shook my fist at our Father in heaven, his Grace flowed around me. My heart was the the tip of the rock that never touched the roaring river of grace that flowed around it. I am awake to this....God loves purely. That is the main difference between earthly love, and God's Love. Everything on earth vanishes. People marry, and sadly, lots of people divorce, joined in the name of God, and split by earthly worries and temptations. But God's love is eternal. God's love is pure. God's love is God. God's love will always be there, even if you never loved him back. Is it not amazing, that God never asked me to love him, before he would love me? I've been alive since 1982, so that means he loved me 9 months before that, through 2000 before he even introduced himself properly to me. And even then, all he said was, "I love you...." except for to me it sounded like, "go broke" or, "be a snitch". At the beginning, sure...it felt like a trade off that wasn't worth it. The figures didn't match. Change your life, so that life can change. Love God, and your life will get better. But now it's clear that God was loving into a better life whether I realized it or not.

Thank God for Jes. Thank God that he has taught me what Love is NOT all my life...so that I can Love my wife the way he wants me to love her today. Thanks be to God for the struggles we will go through, for at that time, our family will call on him for Grace, Miracles, and Love.

Thank God for Bridgeway. Thanks be to our Father, that on sunday nights, after long weeks of potato chips, he starves me on sunday morning so that I can be Fed.

And God, you're a wierdo, but I love you, thank you for busted knees.

Sorry about my rant...but I haven't blogged in a while.

"Where there is no love, put love -- and you will find love" - St. John of the Cross.

Ps> Due to the changing color tone of our living room...the Dose painting that is hanging near the corner is for sale. I will sell it for the best offer as of 7/13/2007. Holler at your boy!

WOO-HOO!

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 20:53:00 GMT

So, today has been quite the productive day. I was given the day off by my supervisor so I woke up this morning, made my wife some coffee, helped her get ready for work (I even ironed her clothes), had a good breakfast...dropped my wife off, went to target to get a new shirt and tie...ironed said shirt and tie, and proceeded to my 2nd interview with my now...employer. Yes folks, Eddie Estrada is the new Alternative Community Service Coordinator for Volunteer Fairfax.

The past year I'd been fighting myself out of a rut at my current job. I'd been praying a long time that either God give me the strength to make it through the day, or that he open a new door for me. God answered. Not just by opening a door, but opening a huge door in the direction I feel called to most.

I sat through my 2nd interview with the Executive Director of the program where she asked me a lot of questions about who I was. My past. My dreams. My goals. I'd never sat through an interview that went that deep into what my dreams were. The conversation went as far as her telling me how this new opportunity might help me towards my goals, dreams....so on.

We also talked about the "reality" of the position. One I'm sure many would say don't think about before jumping into a "dream job" situation. And I'll admit. Even the thorns to this rose won't distract me from watching it bloom. Cheesy, I know...but it's true. Sure I'll probably come home one day complaining about a bad day at work, or some punk kid (I mean it in the most loving way) giving me a hard time about his hours, But I asked for it. No, I begged for it, and God has provided.

Thank you God for once again placing your joy in my heart through this opportunity. I pray that I have the strength, focus, and dedication to see your will be done in my life, and the life of those I will be involved with.

I pray for the healthy growth of baby Estrada, and that we be able to welcome your blessing with the love only the Holy Spirit can radiate.

I thank you Father, for the brothers and sisters at Bridgeway242 that have supported me and prayed with me for this opportunity to come.

Only you know my heart down to it's stains of sin, and only through you will I be washed clean for you.
Amen.

PS> To add to my production report, I bought new tires for my truck, and caught up my good old friends, Aaron and Liz Ultimo.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 12:52:08 GMT

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan, You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists.

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

68%

Emergent/Postmodern

57%

Roman Catholic

50%

Neo orthodox

46%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

43%

Modern Liberal

36%

Fundamentalist

32%

Reformed Evangelical

32%

Classical Liberal

29%

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

Look who's coming to dinner!

Mon, 21 May 2007 18:48:33 GMT

Ladies and gentlemen,
we would like to introduce BABY ESTRADA! (actual name to be determined, after sex is...well, determined). 9 weeks and a day into existence....Estimated Time of Arrival....CHRISTMAS...as in, 12/25/2007...WOOO HOOO!

Actual size of Lil' E, is about 3 cm.

Isaac, you'll have someone to play with, and Jeff will have someone else to scare!

Trips

Wed, 02 May 2007 18:41:29 GMT

It's wierd when I take trips. It's even more wierd when I haven't blogged in a Haley's Comet's ETA span. I feel like I'm catching up on xanga, then when I see you all, I feel like it's a reunion. But maybe that's what I love about B-Dubbs Deuce-Quad-Deuce (Step team style chant). I love it that we're so "fam" (again, Nicole, that means family) that we've gots ta know what's good in the hood. I'm also loving that we do a lot together as a family, but not so much that we've closed our lives to the rest of the world...you know, the ones who need us.

So we've all been talking a lot about wanting to get out there, to reach the masses...and if not the masses, the family, if not the family, that person that will become another red tack on the devil's battleship board game (red tacks means a hit). It's all very encouraging. I get a rush through me like I did before a soccer match or a football game, or even a fight.

Except, when I did all those things, I knew exactly what I had to do. I knew how that related to the person next to me. I knew what THEY had to do. It was all cut out, it was just a matter of DOING. Not so easy in this case. I might see "getting out there" as helping the homeless. Someone else might see it as doing prayer walks. And another as buying food for low income families. Heck, we might see it as all of the above...but how do we get moving? Where do we sit and talk about these things? WHEN do we sit and talk about these things? I'm convinced it's not easy. But I'm not convinced that it is THAT hard.

I'm not trying to act like I have all the answers. I DONT. I feel like I'm just repeating what we've been saying for a while anyway. I just haven't really expressed myself about it yet. This is in no way me saying "we don't do enough". This is simply me asking, Arlington, VA, the flippin' world needs us. Now what?

I'm praying our new Pastor will help out with that. I love B-Dubbs deuce-quad-deuce (STEP UP!). It's the home my spirit rests it's head at. It's the place my heart leaves all that does not belong, and gains everything it needs to spread love where needed. I'm starting to feel "hungry" though. And not like, a hunger for myself. More like a hunger to kick some opression-ass. To help J-Crew shorts guy hit Stanley with a bottle of water if he sees him somewhere. Hungry to make Buckingham just as much Bridgeway as it is Buckingham.......okay, enough. Now what?

Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.

Love you guys!

The white is where I HAVEN'T Been

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 14:41:38 GMT

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Tue, 03 Apr 2007 14:12:45 GMT

"Rabbi, I want to see."

I have not held my brother up to you.

I have not forgiven my mother, Lord.

I have met you in the secret of the night, and never told my father.

To my own ear, I have lied in your name.

"Rabbi, I want to see."

I am broken Lord, but in you I will heal.

I want you to speak through me, live through me!

I’ve left the stain of my sin on the hem of your garment

and beg you to turn to me.

"Rabbi, I want to see."

Marco quote of the week...

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 14:44:06 GMT

"The other day, I didn't sleep so well, and I had a dream that I was chinese".